What’s “perinatal”?
One of the most common things we hear at a first meet and greet is some version of this question: "Am I perinatal? Does ____ count?"
Maybe you don't have a baby yet. Maybe you lost one. Maybe your little one is now a toddler and you wonder if the window has closed. One of the coolest things we’ve seen in the past few years is more and more young women really taking the time to thoughtfully consider parenthood BEFORE they get there and going through a process of discernment.
Here's the answer almost every single time: Yes. You belong here.
Perinatal mental health isn't just for people who are currently pregnant or have a newborn at home. It encompasses the full spectrum of reproductive experiences and those experiences require real, expert support.
Let's talk about who perinatal therapy is actually for.
1. You're trying to figure out if you even want to be a parent.
This is one of the biggest life decisions a person can face. The pressure to "just know" can be paralyzing. If you're wrestling with questions about whether parenthood fits into your future, therapy is a safe space to explore that without judgment, expectation, or someone else's timeline.
2. You're trying to conceive and the waiting is taking a toll.
Whether you've been through fertility treatments or you're simply in that agonizing in-between of hoping and waiting, TTC (trying to conceive) comes with its own unique grief, anxiety, and emotional weight. You don't have to be pregnant to be struggling. Ongoing uncertainty is enough to make most people want more support.
3. You experienced a difficult or traumatic birth.
Birth trauma is underrecognized. A delivery that felt frightening, out of control, or deeply different from what you hoped for can leave lasting emotional wounds and even get into clinical PTSD territory. Even if you and your baby are physically healthy, you deserve space to process what happened to your body and your heart during your birth.
4. Your relationship has shifted since having a baby.
Research consistently shows that relationship satisfaction hits its lowest point in the first year after having a baby. Exhaustion, division of labor, shift in intimacy and new identities can all contribute to low mood and trouble communicating. Some couples even find themselves questioning the relationship. If you and your partner are struggling, you might just need more support navigating this season together or individually.
5. You've experienced pregnancy or infant loss.
Miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR (termination for medical reasons), and infant loss are profound grief experiences that are too often minimized by the world around you. Whether your loss was recent or years ago, whether people knew about it or didn't, it’s important. Your grief is a part of you. Even many therapists don’t specialize in grief or feel lost in the special circumstance of pregnancy and infant loss. Finding a specialist protects you by guaranteeing you’ll be held expertly as you process and integrate your grief.
6. You're postpartum. (Postpartum lasts years, new research shows)
The physical changes of postpartum can last years. The emotional experience of becoming a mother and adjusting your identity has no expiration date. As psychodynamic therapists, we understand how profound this shift is and that it is an ongoing process. If you feel drawn to a perinatal therapist, that’s the right place to address what you’re experiencing. It's not too late.
7. Postpartum depression, anxiety, or rage.
This probably goes without saying but is worth naming because so many women are still under diagnosed and under treated for PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders). Many women don't recognize their symptoms as depression or anxiety, especially if they show up as irritability or rage rather than sadness because these symptoms can be so common amongst new moms. By common doesn’t mean normal. An expert will keep an eye on you though this immense life change and catch symptoms early if they develop.
8. The transition into "matrescence" or "patrescence".
The identity shift of becoming a mother, newly minted as “matrescence” (like adolescence) can feel like an identity crisis. Depth therapy can hold you through this enormous life stage and make space for all the ways you are challenged and changing.
9. Perinatal OCD.
Intrusive thoughts during pregnancy and postpartum are extremely common and very misunderstood. Many parents suffer in silence out of shame or fear of judgment but perinatal OCD requires swift action to mitigate symptoms and help you enjoy your baby again. Working with perinatal OCD is different than other presentations
Lastly, babies are not all we talk about in perinatal therapy! The late 20’s to mid 40’s of women’s lives are marked by big career changes, moving houses, relationship decisions, body evolutions, health impacts, aging parents and much more. We organize certain treatment protocols around the perinatal experience but we also touch on many other areas of life.
You don't have to be in crisis to reach out. You don't have to meet any invisible threshold to deserve support.
If any part of this list made you pause and think "that's me", that's enough. We'd love to meet you.
